Todays thoughts and inspirations

So I came along this image on tumblr.com earlier and it really got me thinking. Lately I have been very worrisome about the future because my dreams do scare me. I got a sense of relief seeing this because I was kind of thinking that my dreams in life were too wild.

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Today my astrology app from facebook kinda connected to that in a similar way:

Cancer:

Tenacity is one of your finest qualities, but it's also important to recognize when to let go. You can't fully control this situation, and if you let it unfold organically, you'll begin to see its singular beauty.

• Compatibility: Gemini
• Mood: Relieved
• Lucky Color: Spring Green
• Lucky Number: 76
• Lucky Time of Day: 5am

I was sort of attracted to the idea of this person in my head and I just decided that it's a waste of my time. I torture myself looking through photos of someone I would probably have a chance with. So I kind of just ended it in my mind and I do feel relieved.

I feel like a friendship with someone I've been close to may be ending, but I'm unsure. I just don't feel right about certain things. Have I been pretending? As my horoscope said, I'm going to let things unfold on their own, I'm not going to worry about it.

I can't think of many geminis in my life other than my sister. She's in spain though and I really miss her. I worry about her a lot.

Todays lucky color!

Too bad I wasn't up today at 5am, but at least I was getting some rest, which I got a decent amount of last night finally.

Last night I tried to spend less time on the computer, not coming on after dinner, which was a pretty good idea because being on the computer right before bed stimulates you.

So there you have it. My random life rants.

into consideration

 

These are a bunch of cool men's style that I found on Tumblr that really inspire me.

Sleep

Going to try to get a solid 5 hours tonight if I'm lucky.

Why am I like this?

"But there's no release, no peace
I toss and turn without cease
Like a curse, open my eyes and rise like yeast"

California

So lately I have been really inspired by the idea of moving to California when I graduate high school.

I've always been interested in the idea but lately I've been brainstorming my options.

I love New York, but I hate the weather half the time. I have the most time during the summer months, not only because there's no school, but because I enjoy life more! The weather really impacts my life. I adore the beach. I love swimming, surfing, or just having fun by the water. During the winter months in New York it's not very enjoyable to spend time on the beach because it's very cold, and you can't go in the water. I honestly think I would be a happier person if I lived in a warm weather climate.

I aspire to be enrolled in UCLA, but admissions are very competitive and I'm not sure if my high school grades would be substantial enough to be admitted, but that doesn't mean I can't transfer after a year or two at another school! UCLA accepts many transfer students from other universities every year. 

I think I want to go to Los Angeles because deep down I really do want to become an actor, it's always been a dream of mine. I understand it's an unrealistic goal but that's why I want to go to university. While I'm in California I can go to school and try and start my first career! 

Here's what I'm thinking my plan would be:

1. I need to visit California before I start making all these decisions about where I want to live, but luckily my dads awesome friends invited me to go stay with them in Hollywood Hills! I'm really excited to stay with them because they are so fun to be around I feel like they're my age!
2. Apply to UCLA, and if I'm not admitted it's not the end of the world, I'll apply to other schools in Los Angeles that I have better chances of getting admitted.
3. Once I move to California establish residency, because if I'm going to go to school there and seriously become an actor, I'm going to want to live there yearlong. When you're not a California resident the tuition for UCLA is $22,878 more than California residents! So, moving to California and becoming a resident would probably be my best option for being financially stable when I graduate from University.
4. Live.

I do have some doubts about it all though. I have been a New Yorker my whole life and I feel like if I didn't become an actor, than Los Angeles would not be the best place for me to start my life. If I wasn't an actor I would probably enter P.R, and I would rather do that in New York. Mostly because most P.R in Los Angeles is for show business, and as much as I love show business, I don't want to work people in show business, I want to be in show business. 

I don't even know if I would be a good actor! I haven't even done it yet. As corny as it sounds though, I have a feeling that I can make it. I always have, really. Before I graduate from high school I really want to take an acting class maybe fall 2012 or summer 2013 at Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute. I think that could give me a better idea of what I want. However, the tuition is kind of pricy, but if I save up enough money this summer, I think I could afford it.

I am afraid of large groups of people, my face gets red, my heart races and I feel like I'm being judged by everyone. I've learned that some of the most famous and successful actors were extremely insecure. Which, in an odd sense, gives me hope about my fears of crowds.

 Aside from all my doubts, this is what I really want to do right now. It's what I've really wanted to do for a long time, and I need to visit Los Angeles this summer to help me make decisions.

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James Dean actually moved to Los Angeles from Indiana, enrolled himself at Santa Monica College and transferred to UCLA and changed from being a pre-law major, to a drama major. James Dean became one of the most famous actors in history, ranked as one of the best male movie stars by the American Film Institute and still considered a cultural icon. 

My mom says I have the identical hair James Dean and that I sort of resemble him in a way, so who knows? Maybe I'll become the next James Dean ;)

Need to go shopping!

So everything for mens spring is on the websites of all my favorite places to shop and I'm overwhelmed! Everything is so colorful this season and I am in need of an updated wardrobe! I need to find cash fast!!

Heres just some of the things I want, click on the photos to be linked to the item being sold!

Both of the swimsuits above are amazing swimsuits designed by Orlebar Brown, sold in Barneys. They are both waaaay out of my price range but probably well worth the money, it's like swimming in a work of art! So maybe if I get a random surplus of cash I'll consider buying them. 

These are actually lounge shorts! They're so cool that I would just wear them out!

I don't know about these yet, definitely my last choice.

So these are just bottoms that I've found online but later I'm going to post more tops and accessories!

So excited to go get these things when I get the cash!!

Comment and tell me your personal favorites and which ones you would buy first!

P.S- I'm becoming better and better at managing Blogspot, but I still need to update my layout

Acne Wants

Kiruna- 950 USD

Kiruna- 950 USD

Lane- 180 USD

Just a few of my current cravings from Acne Studios

LOVE-AESTHETICS

LOVE-AESTHETICS

Ivania Carpio is the 23 year old girl from The Netherlands who runs the amazing blog.

On her blog you can find a variety of posts

• outfits, novelty, accessories, DIY, life, shoes, opinion, beauty, interior, video, finds, interview, guide, reports, 

I personally love her tutorials and I may be trying her 

Cracked White Denim DIY, shown below

Inspiration

So my room is looking very outdated and confused and I've been thinking of a bunch of ways I could make it brand new. I am going to use Victoria Tornegrens apartment as my inspiration. Although I wont be able to have a white floor, the rest is really quite possible and affordable. So excited to get this started!

All photos via Victoria Tornegren